Of Alcohol and Sex
by Miyavilurver
Summary: When alcohol is consumed and you wake up with a new body on your bed, just what are you supposed to do? Yaoi.


**Disclaimer:**

**I sadly do not own this show.**

**Read on! **

**--**

The sun shined bright over Konohagakure no Sato. Birds sang, and the villagers of the Leaf groaned over their beds before waking up. A new day was about to begin.

Streets slowly became filled. Bustling tones whispered on this new day.

Laughter of children and greeting of adults jumped from all direction, only one lone building lay still without wake.

It wasn't on top conditions but they were livable enough. It looked inhabited, but as one walked up this apartment complex they would notice the faint presence of chakra that lingered in the air.

A body groaned and scrunched up its eyes before blinking severely against the bright sun. Its head hurt.

Said body, the one of a seventeen old blonde, male to be exact, groaned at the light before shutting his eyes again, wishing to return to the world of the dead.

He tightened his hold on a muscled pillow, ignoring the strange twisting of his stomach as it bowled over from who-knew-what.

The warmth of the sun seemed insufficient as the open window of his bedroom invited a breeze. He huddled closer to his other source of warmth, accommodating himself to the unknown weight that lay atop of him as he pondered on head and pound but not quite yet connecting them.

Soft, silky locks of hair tickled the bare skin of his shoulder. The sweat slicked pillow on him felt oddly comforting. Two arms lay on either side of his body. There were legs too; one wrapped around his own, the other in between them.

A tangy murky scent intoxicated his senses. He breathed in the overwhelming smell as it reached his nostrils when he came to an abrupt realization.

He contemplated slowly on his next course of action before dreadfully opening his eyes to see...

There was a loud scream in the village of Konoha. The villagers continued as they were with only slight confusion and wary curiosity while the ninja population that had been at the reunion party last night groaned, cursed, and winced at the effect the loud noise had on their alcohol induced hangovers.

At the center of the village, a crash soon followed after the scream as the sleep deprived Godaime threw an empty bottle of sake out the window, only to fall on a poor and unsuspecting villager.

Back in the apartment, the blonde jounin stumbled out of his bed shocked at the sight of his bedridden teammate sprawled across of him; only to have said body tumbling after him, re-landing on a quite different position.

Legs now straddled his waist, arms landing loosely around his neck. A face nestled at the juncture between neck and shoulder, mumbling with wet lips pressed against skin. There was a messy mane spread out making his teammate look even more enticing than before…

Sapphire eyes widened.

_- breathed deeply as he leaned in closer. "..Sas..ke…" a deep throaty moan was heard before the other body rose and **grinded** against his partner.-_

Startled, he threw off the weight on him who groaned as it collided with the floor.

Dark obsidian eyes opened in a tired glare before registering the sight before him and proceeding to do what one would do in such a situation.

When the second scream resounded though the village of the Leaf many vowed revenge on the two boys while others groaned in dismay because they knew what would come next.

A third scream soon follow the second as a disgruntled Godaime threw her fifth bottle out of the window with a crash. With a mumbled 'damnable brats' and 'no help for hellish hangovers' she proceeded to pass out again, leaving her assistant to heal the victims of rained sake bottles.

**"What. The. Hell?"** asked the surprised Uchiha before wincing at the loudness of his voice. He growled darkly before closing his eyes and leaning his pounding head on the bed behind him.

Naruto licked his suddenly dried lips and looked away.

There was a moment of silence before he looked back, only to find his rival staring at him.

"What?" he snapped self-consciously.

It took a moment before he remembered he was still as bare as the day he was born. He froze and blushed wildly under the scrutinizing gaze. He shifted uncomfortably, getting fed up he threw a pillow at the bastard. "PERVERT!" he yelled before regretting said action.

The birds chirped outside before a kunai was thrown. Silence ensued.

There was a dual groan from the boys as a previous matter came to mind.

Their heads were still pounding; followed by a queasy feeling rumbling at the base of their stomachs.

Both stood up hurriedly, Sasuke falling and Inner Naruto cheering in the back of his mind. But for now that was put aside because Naruto did not want the bastard puking all over his room. He took him with him to the bathroom and thrust the trash can at him before taking the toilet for himself.

If fangirls were to come in now, they would stare at the sight of the hottest guys in Konoha naked, and puking their guts out. Not a sexy sight.

After they finished emptying their stomachs they groaned in delirious relief only to return to dismay as their heads pounded again.

Sasuke collapsed to the floor again and yelped as his bottom met the floor with a harsh impact. Ignoring the consistent cheering in the back of his mind, Naruto decided to take pity on the guy before offering a hand.

Sasuke slapped it away and Naruto growled. He walked over to his rival and pulled him off the floor, throwing him over his shoulder and making sure it dug into the pale stomach with every step he took.

Sasuke grunted and kneed him in return.

"Put. Me. Down." He snarled.

"As you wish, _princess._" At that comment both winced before Naruto dropped him with a thud on his bed.

The sheets were shifted about until they covered the alabaster body. Naruto picked up a pair of stray boxers which he later found tighter than usual. _Must be Sasuke's,_ his mind faintly complied.

They stared at the other not knowing what to say. Naruto cleared his throat awkwardly and Sasuke looked away.

They both heard the faint bustle of the village which seemed too far over. Not much connected and their minds whirled.

Naruto left his rival, heading toward the kitchen. There was a faint noise behind him which he gave off as his imagination. He searched through his cabinets before remembering that usually, he didn't need hangover pills therefore he didn't have any. He cursed the fox that resided in him with a violent will.

He got out two glasses, filling them up with water and drinking his up, walking back to his bedroom to hand the other one over.

When he entered the room, he felt his throat constrict and cock twitch.

Sasuke leaned down to pick up his discarded clothes. His body winced in pain as he did so and Naruto tried to stop his body's reaction to walk over and throw his teammate on the bed, proceeding to ravish him senseless.

He blinked.

He walked out of the room and rested his back against the wall. With a long deep breath, he shut his eyes and willed whatever image his mind decided to pop up away.

Walking back in, he thrusted his arm out, spilling half of the water the glass contained on the pale still unclothed body who winced at the cold contact. He blushed embarrassed as he heard the other snarl out a "moron!" before taking the glass and drinking the remains of the water.

An awkward silence ensued again as they examined each other's bodies, making sure to avoid each other's eyes. Sasuke's neck was filled love bites, one particularly stood up at the top of his collarbone,

_- licked the moist neck before attaching himself to it, sucking into it, breathing into it, digging his teeth into it, making sure to leave a mark for the world to see-_

there were nail marks on both bodies, going downward and digging through skin as if to show struggle,

_-nails pierced his skin as he finally had gotten Sasuke to stop trying to** move,** cause he sure as hell was not bottoming, not tonight. He smirked in satisfaction as he heard the other howl in indignation before giving into the pleasure of-_

they both blushed, minds fully remembering what had taken place last night. Neither of them wanted to be the first to speak and shifted tensely before looking away.

When Naruto finally looked up to meet the dark coal eyes of his teammate, something flashed in his mind and his breath hitched high up in his throat.

_-in the aftertaste of their alcohol induced sex, more of their rationality seemed to seep through their senses. They leaned in closer, body pressed against body, comfort, contact, a chaste kiss shared between the two exhausted-_

He licked his lips slowly and lowered his gaze, the floor suddenly seemed particularly interesting. He didn't know how to begin.

Sasuke on the other hand couldn't move his gaze away. He explored his teammate's body with sharp eyes, memories faint but still there

_-twisted in bed with soft murmurs and slight insults as they drifted closer, demanding the other to-_

with that in mind Sasuke was the first to speak.

"Naruto..." He scratched his cheek and shifted his weight on his left foot contemplating on what to say. He didn't want to sound stupid or cheesy or something like that.

_-the unknown thoughts lingering. Soft gazes were exchanged, the thread in between them strengthening. Tomorrow-_

He scrunched up his nose before taking a step forward. Naruto stepped back.

"Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?" there was a faint tone of panic in Naruto's outburst. He swallowed tightly as he willed his eyes to stop staring at him. He sadly failed.

He took another step forward and snatched the arm in front of him to prevent Naruto from backing away again. Talking had never been his forte so he did the only rational thing an Uchiha could do. He clamped his teeth on the lower lip before him and gnawed.

"Hey!" Naruto winced as his lip split and droplets of blood slid down. "What are you-" He was cut of as his mouth was filled with a tongue. He stumbled backward and landed on the floor, head connecting with a cramped wall, hands awkwardly positioning his fall and a body over of him to top it all.

He was distracted as teeth went back to nimble on his lip before he jolted. "owww" their heads bumped hard and he moved his hand to rub it.

"che...what did you do that for bastard..." he mumbled.

Sasuke looked at him frustrated at his stupidity.

He brought his fist down upon his head and glared as the other whined.

"Teme..." Naruto threw Sasuke off his body, which landed on its back with a dull thud. He proceeded to crawl over his rival's body, hands pinned at either side-

_-moved to lock their hands together, pinning them above his rival and licking Sasuke's cheek-_

-and grinned lecherously with memory. "Yeah, I like you to but did you have to give me a spilt lip for being socially inept?" Naruto teased.

Sasuke growled and pushed the idiot off, moving to stand up before wincing again. He blinked as he found himself thrown back to the bed before he we sat up only to be pushed back as Naruto leaned over him.

"So how about we continued where we left off?" asked the nibbling teeth at his ear.

Hands wandered over his naked chest.

"Just so you know, I don't expect to be bottoming anytime soon, princess."

Sasuke sulked, glowering with promised revenge.

Just as stray hands wandered down to remove an offending piece of cloth, there was an incessant knocking on the door of Naruto's apartment.

Both growled as Naruto got slowly off the bed, stopping his ministrations.

He walked with intimidating steps to his living room, ignoring his state of undress, and opened the door.

SLAM!

_Shit!_

Naruto made his way over to his room with quick movements. He threw the horny and incapacitated Sasuke over his shoulder and jumped out the window.

"Idiot, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Sasuke screeched as the cold wind blew against his naked skin.

"No time to explain! There was a mob of angry people and your fangirls at the door."

Sasuke paled.

"Where are you taking us then?"

"Hokage tower, your mansion; whichever's nearer."

"Well, hurry up moron!"

"Shut up, princess!"

They ignored the flash of white that passed from their left to the opposite direction.

They skidded to a stop and jumped over an incriminating videotape, not bothering to give it a second look as they hopped to the roof and _**ran**_ in the direction of Sasuke's mansion.

Aftermath:

After another long hour of sex, the boys huffed spent from their activities. Naruto groaned as he rolled over. He made a move to stand up, he was getting hungry and both of them had forgotten to eat breakfast. He winced as he stood up and cursed the fox in him for not healing him already.

From the recedes of his mind he could faintly hear as the Kyuubi muttered, "Curse me out as much as you like; I'm just glad you're finally getting laid."

In another part of Konoha there was an all-girl meeting with Ino and Sakura at the front.

"We present you, with this!" the lights were turned off and a screen projected as the videotape began.

Needless to say, many fainted from lack of blood while others took notes and arranged groups to follow with cameras later on.

In the end, Sasuke and Naruto realized that fangirls were far stealthier than ninjas as they found many of said videotapes all over the village, which were promptly burned by a possessive Uchiha.

And Jiraiya? He was knocked over by a very angry Naruto when he found an Icha Icha Violence: Yaoi edition on his sensei's hands.

The End.

Or is it...?  
--

**Omake: **

The Rookie Nine plus met at the bar where it all began, only two were inconspicuously missing. (read: in the back room)

Many of them groaned. The girls held out their hands awaiting payment.  
"I told you they were going to get together. It was only a matter of time." Ino's smug voice sang.

Sakura agreed beside her. "It was obvious that years of tension would come loose eventually. I should know, I'm their teammate."

"Yeah, but you cheated!" Kiba yelled pointing a discriminating finger at the two girls.

Both shrugged without denying the statement.

Just then, the Fifth Hokage wandered in the bar with an excited grin on her face, Shizune at her side.

"All right brats pay up" she said taking a sit.

"Troublesome women." Shikamaru muttered; he had been one of the few males that hadn't bet against them. Beside him, Shino nodded in agreement.

The rest of the males gave out the cash to the winners, scowling at their loss.

The Hokage counted her money before going off to gamble. _'that brat is my good luck charm'_ she thought with a grin.

Shizune went to catch up to her and they left.

Meanwhile, Hinata activated her Byakugan and stared at the back room.

When everyone turned to leave it was a disgruntled Neji who had to carry a passed out Hinata back to the mansion.

The End.

For real this time.

--

Readers of my Are you that willing to break me, no maiming the author!

this has been clawing at me to write it since forever!

On another note, for the first chapter of pure lemony goodness you can go find it at aff. net! I'm Rii-chan there.

i guess that's all.

review!

**_rya._**


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